Hot Flashes, Cold Coffee, and Zero Chill

Some mornings feel like an Olympic event. You wake up already sweating, your hair stuck to your neck, covers kicked off, and your partner wrapped in blankets like it is winter. You stumble into the kitchen, make coffee, then forget where you set it down.

Everyone I know runs on coffee. I run on Celsius and chaos. Same idea, different can.

You try to find your water bottle, your keys, your patience. None of them show up.

Welcome to perimenopause mornings, where your body temperature has no loyalty, your anxiety runs on caffeine and confusion, and every small inconvenience feels like a personal attack.

There are mornings I open my fridge and stare like it is a portal to another universe. I am too hot, too tired, and somehow emotional over an expired container of spinach. My dog is staring at me. My drink is empty. And the day has barely started.

These are the mornings where I have to remind myself that I am not losing it. My hormones are just having a group chat without me again.

Estrogen and progesterone affect everything from body temperature to stress response. When they start shifting, your internal thermostat goes rogue. That heat that climbs up your chest at 5 a.m. is not in your head, and it is not because you need to hydrate more. It is your body’s way of saying something is changing.

And it is not just the heat. It is the emotions that come with it. One minute you are fine, the next you are Googling “how to move to a quiet island and start over.”

You are not weak for feeling off. You are running on less sleep, more stress, and a body that is trying to operate under new rules.

It will not always feel this intense. But it also will not get better by pretending nothing is wrong.

You do not need another cleanse, another restriction plan, or more caffeine. You need consistency, better sleep, and a few small habits that support your nervous system instead of pushing it to the edge.

And just like an actual hangover, there is no quick fix. You have to hydrate, rest, eat something solid, and give yourself time to recover. Hormones are the same. Treat the symptoms, take care of yourself, and try not to make any major life decisions while you are in the middle of it.

Originally published on Substack.